watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
