Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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