I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
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The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
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Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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