I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
