we have officially lost it.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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