did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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