KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
