so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
