I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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