My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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