I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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