he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
