My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
