I didn't shave. On purpose
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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