Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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