They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
