Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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