Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
