I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
