I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize