I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize