Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
