Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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