Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
