I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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