The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
