I didn't shave. On purpose
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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