dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
