She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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