He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
