Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
