Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
