I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
