She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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