I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
