I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
