It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
