After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize