sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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