I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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