I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She swung at the pinata with crutches
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
