Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
handjob tips. give me some.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
