awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
