Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
