My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
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Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
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I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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