She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
