I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
