My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
