i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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