Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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