you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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