Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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