Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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