she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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