Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
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Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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