matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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