After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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