why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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