I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
