In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
